The House

new house buyers concept for mortgage, home loanIt’s only been a year since we bought our 1st house. It was a fixer-upper and we put a lot of work and cash into it.  It’s not a dream home (though we do have some dreamy appliances), but it is the biggest home my wife and I have lived in.  We have so much more room for the kids that they don’t even know what to do.  The kids I swear are trying to scatter ALL THE TOYS everywhere!  This is the first time I’ve ever had a master bathroom…that I can lock…that kids can’t come in during a shower and ask “Hi daddy, what are you doing?”  I love this house, and I’m sure my wife loves it more.

If I don’t find a job in the immediate area,  it will certainly mean we will have to move.  We cannot afford another place like this.  We’ll have to downsize considerably.

It’s worrying to even think about my wife’s reaction to having to move.  The heartbreak of moving, I imagine, will be greater than the heart break of finding out she’s married to an atheist.  She loves this place.  She’s worked so hard on this place.  It’s not her fault I changed.

I really hope a job opens up locally.


4 thoughts on “The House

  1. Maybe you can do what this guy does:
    You don’t even have to let anybody know that you don’t believe in god any longer. Just tend to your congregation’s needs, help people with their problems, and I’m sure there are things in the bible you can build your sermons on. I believe that a congregation is much better off with a humanist pastor than with a “fire and brimstone” one. You can describe yourself as a humanist christian and leave the atheist part in the background.
    I wish you good luck for the future.


    • Thanks for your response. Technically that is already what I am doing, but I don’t want to do it long term. While my congregation is far from fundamentalism, they are nonetheless very conservative. They have always been more conservative than myself which has been a nice dynamic. They’ve allowed me to challenge them in their faith and life. However that relationship was always built on the fact that I believed the Bible as strongly (and often more so) as they did. Without that same faith, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up the act.

      There’s also the fact that as a career field, Church work is in decline. The blog “Rational Doubt” has recently published some disturbing findings for those of us in ministry. The church is shrinking quickly, and certain segments are in free fall. Even my own congregation, which is stable financially, is really held together by generous older persons. 60% of our income comes from 5 men around 70 years old. If one of them passes away, we are in serious financial trouble. Church work is just not financially viable long term anymore. I’m 35 now, I need to change directions ASAP while I’m young enough to do so. I know too many out of work pastors in their 50’s. I don’t want to be in that same place. Not with kids to take care of.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi,

    Found your blog and I’m working my way through your posts in chronological order, so apologies for replying to posts many months old. I will only do so when I think it’s important.

    You say it’s not your wife’s fault that you changed. I’m sure I will come across posts where you reiterate what I’m about to say, but it’s not your fault either. We are all the sum total of our past experience and what we believe is not in our control. The knowledge and evidence we have shapes what we think is true. We do not choose our beliefs. If there was a God who punished us for our lack of belief, He would be unjust.


    Liked by 3 people

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