How the hell am I going to send my kids to college?
Will I be able to avoid poverty in my old age?
How do I stay in this house I JUST BOUGHT a year ago?
When I finally leave ministry, can I tell my wife and friends I’m an atheist?
Eventually I went back to sleep. Well, at least for a couple of hours. Then I went to Church this morning. IT WAS AMAZING! It was soo much fun, I really nailed the sermon. Music was…well, at least no one complained about it (perhaps proof that miracles do happen?). And I thought to myself:
You know, maybe you could do this for a job. If you worked for some corporation, you may not believe in what they stand for, but you would show up to work everyday to feed your kids. Why not Church? You’re obviously good at it. Well you don’t have 2,000 people on Sunday morning, but good enough to make a living. Why not keep your job? Be a humanist in the pulpit!
Yeah, no. What happens when the old people die? They’re the ones funding the church. You’d be stuck with a great church with people under 60, and no one tithing to pay the bills.
You dear reader probably already know that COMMITED Christians on average (mean) give about 2.5%. Pretty sure the median is around 1.7%.
When the church runs out of money, I no longer have “treasures in heaven” to bank on. My kids can’t eat free fairy tales. Truth is I was already looking for a job even before I became an atheist. It’s clear the clergy as a profession is a contracting field. I know way too many out of work pastors in their 50’s. I don’t want to be them. Even when I believed, I didn’t want to end up like them.
So back to the panic.
Oh how I wish God was real.