One Year On

Beer fest (CA homebrew festival) is happening this weekend.  That was the big camping festival where I got really drunk and started telling my friends I was an atheist.  Sunday of beer fest is when I cam home and told my wife.

That’s tonight.

One year ago tonight.

I was supposed to go this year too but finances prohibited it. It’s hard to get a grasp on commission and how to live consistently when your pay check balloons and shrinks more than the stock market or a teenagers emotions.

I am finally becoming more successful and stable at work!  April and March I placed second in the company for RMR (recurring monthly revenue “contracts”) sales.  With how I performed in March, I thought for sure I would be able to go to beer fest.  But when Jenn and I broke down the numbers, every dollar…every…single…dollar…was already spoken for.  The largest paycheck in my life needed to pay off all the bills I couldn’t pay over the last few month.  And I needed to put up some serious numbers in April to have a chance to breathe in May.  The last 2 days of the month, when I was supposed to be at beer fest, I ended up securing nearly double my quota.  I think that means I’ll be able to put some money aside in savings finally, and be more prepared for low sales months.


If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you’ve seen me become more and more open about my lack of belief. I even one time used the “A” word.  Most people didn’t recoil.  In fact people are starting to come of their shell and ask me questions.

If you saw the one post were I reached out to others and told them loss of faith wasn’t their fault, it was about time I received a wave of questions from Christian.  Most of them were curious, some were heart broken.  None were accusatory.  Though I did loose about 10 “friends” due to that post.

In the wake of that, I made some videos.  Videos intended to be seen by former church members who were asking me questions.  They aren’t terribly well produced videos, but I was going for authenticity.  I wanted them to see these videos as me just having a conversation with them.

But I chickend out.  I never published them.  Or rather, I haven’t published them yet.  I think people in my community are fine with me not believing, but I don’t want to come out and be seen as an enemy of the church trying to dismantle the faith.  That would have serious financial repercussions. I will publish these videos to Facebook, I just don’t know when.  But for now, I’ll share them with you.  And you can share these videos if you like.  If you think they may help someone.



8 thoughts on “One Year On

  1. I am delighted that you’re getting the hang of the new job, and that money is finally coming in. I am completely not surprised that you’re doing well in sales; you’ve gone from trying to meet people’s spiritual needs to meeting their material needs, but helping them figure out what those needs are must be very similar. To do both jobs well requires the ability to listen and figure out where people are coming from. That’s not a trivial skill set,

    The beer festival will be there next year!

    I’m also very interested in your videos, and I’ll watch them over the course of the day as I have time… and you might get another comment when I’m done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve watched all the videos, Brendan and have to say I really enjoyed them. Your presentation style I found to be extremely authentic, honest, unpretentious, thoughtful and accessible.
    Keep it up, man.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. All thumbs up Brendan!

    What you are describing is all my problems with religion in general.

    I was a spiritual seeker, but I never found my way into any religion – mainly due to all of the problems you’re describing.

    So thank you very much for the videos, and keep up the good work.

    All the best from one of your fans in Sweden.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Just watched 1, 2, and “Christians Don’t Believe” — that one especially is wonderful. I think Dr. King really came close to loving enemies and living nonviolence under threat of bombs, beatings, and dogs… His sermons said, We are going to love you no matter what you do, and in the end we will win not only our freedom but your hearts as well — a double victory. He studied Ghandi and was commited philosophically to nonviolence. But you are right… who else actually does that? I love how you take that ideal to heart. ….So inspirational!!!!!! thank you


  5. got caught up tonight… these are really wonderful, Brendan. I love the values that you lift up as the ones you care about, and the way you talk about them. Thanks so much.

    Excuse me for going back to Dr. King…. I’m just starting to read some of the collection of his papers. I’m expecting to find that he sheared off much of the horrors that you identify, and I’m wondering whether his version of christianity might be one that would be a wonderful replacement for most of the versions today.

    As in the writing you were doing a year ago, your authentic wrestling is a gift you share… Gratitude

    Liked by 1 person

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