The 12 Days of Christmas: Day 4

Sorry about the technical difficulties.

The Nate and Sarah Sage: Part 2

So I went to that fateful board meeting.  I wouldn’t resign there, it would take another week for the board to ask for my resignation.  In the weekend between meetings Nate and Sarah took us out for drinks.  It was a nice time.  Sarah struggled a bit but made an honest effort to have a good time.

Then I resigned at the next meeting.  A couple of days after my final Sunday, we left for Arizona to spend time with my wife’s family.  It wasn’t that great of a trip.  Her dad was busy working 3 jobs leaving her mom to run the shop they owned.  We didn’t see them very much of them.  That was a big let down.

But we tried our best.  The boys played on the land.  We rode off road vehicles. We went to the observatory that discovered Pluto, and I saw Saturn through a telescope for the first time since I was 11.  We made the best of the situation and posted some Facebook pics of the boys having a great time.  Which would apparently be used as evidence against us. (WTF?!)

The entire 3 weeks we were gone, my wife had two people check in on her via text.  One was our neighbor who doesn’t even go to church, the other was Reese who is my wife’s friend aside from church.  My wife was very hurt by the fact that none of our church friends had bothered to call her or send her a text or check in on her in any way shape or form.  She was feeling very neglected and very alone.

We finally got back home and several days passed, and still no word from her friends.  Unbeknownst to me at the time she finally posted a Facebook status reflecting her feeling.

Wife: Looks like I’m finding out who were my friends and who just thought of me as the pastor’s wife.

At the same time, as she was posting that message, I was texting her friends.  I sent them all the same message:

Me: Can you please call my wife.  She’s very depressed and feeling very lonely.

One response came back from the woman who was surprised to find out that Jesus once called a woman a dog.  She sent me this message.

“Friend”: Well, doesn’t she have her neighbor friends?

You know what, fuck off.  My wife goes through one of the most difficult times in her life and you’re too chicken shit to be a decent friend.

“Friend”: It’s just, I don’t think she recieves anything very easily from me.

This friend would go on and later ask my wife if her neighbor friends were healthy people to be around.  WELL AT LEAST THEY HAVE THE DECENCY TO ASK, “Hey, how are you”.  But this lovely woman is a whole other post.

Another friend sends a text message saying my wife’s post isn’t very helpful.  Yeah, there was some drama there.

A couple of days later I see that my wife is talking to these women on a series of phone calls.  At first, I was relieved to find that they finally heard my plea and called her.  Turns out, my wife called them first.  She had no idea that I sent out the text messages, she just figured maybe she needed to make the first move.

None of the phone calls went remotely positive.

Sarah attempted to be the most open and forthcoming.  But that was a shitty idea.

I was listening in on the conversation by sitting close to my wife while pretending to do something else.  Here are a few snippets I overheard (plus some added supplement we got from another “friend” who at least had the decency to confront us in person).

Sarah: …it’s difficult because faith is so central to a person’s being.  People are shocked and upset, and it’s just going to take some time…

…I have a hard time getting over this.  I hate to say this, because I know it’s not true, but I can’t help but thinking what was he doing at church this whole time?  While he was praying was he secretely laughing at us thinking “ha ha ha you suckers”…

…and there you were, on vacation in Arizona, showing the world how happy your family is without any of us…

…I felt like you lied to me, not your husband, you!  You knew since May?!  If we were friends why didn’t you tell me?  How good of friends could we have been if you couldn’t trust me with this?

Wife: Sarah, your husband is a board member, did you really think I was going to jeapordize my children’s financial security.  Besides, I told someone who I thought I could trust and they went crazy trying to ruin our lives.  Why would I tell anyone after that?

After that phone call, we didn’t hear a peep from them in months.

My wife was cruising Facebook one day when she saw one of our old friends post something along these lines:

8720-ea_in_such_a_way live those who know you but dont god will come because they design

To which Sarah replied on Facebook:

Sarah: This is what pray for, each and every day.

Which absolutely sent my wife’s blood boiling.  I had to calm her down.

Wife: Oh please let me post something!

Me: Yeah, you know that’s not a good idea.

Wife: But all these bitches are fake, and no one is calling them out on their fake religious bullshit!  These people aren’t holy, they’re nothing like Jesus!  They’re all in their, in their little church huddle, patting eachother on the back, talking about how great they all are, and how lucky they have such good friendships, and how God is bringing them through this tough time.


Oh, but God is faithful to them in their time of need.

I should probably mention my wife had been Facebook stalking all our old church friends.  They were literally gushing over each other, getting all spiritual and lovey dovey on Facebook.

Wife:  They have all the time in world to post “encouragement” on each other’s Facebook posts, but not one of them has called me since you left the church! Not a single one.

Me: Well except for that one day, when I saw you talking to them on the phone.

Wife: They didn’t call me, I called them.

Me: Are you kidding me?! I sent messages to all of them, telling them to call you because of how depressed you were.

My wife begins to break down crying.

Wife: You asked them call me and they still didn’t?!

Me: I guess not.

Wife: Let me write something on this Facebook post.

Me: Yeah, I still don’t thin that’s a good idea.

Wife: Please!!!!!

Me: (sigh) Sleep on it.  If you still want to do something in the morning, then do as you think best.

Morning came quickly, my wife was still angry.  However, she didn’t post anything on Facebook.  Instead she took a screen shot and fired off a text message to Sarah.

Wife: I saw this on Facebook yesterday, and this is nothing but a lie.  How has my husband seen Christ in you?  Or in any of the people from church.  Your husband has never called my husband since he left church.  You never called me.  None of the board members called us.  You’re all a bunch of hypocrites.  If this is what it means to be a good Christian then I never want to be one.  I see now that you were never my friend.  I was only the pastor’s wife, and as long as everything was ok with the pastor, then we were friends.  But he becomes an atheist and you are nowhere to be found for me.

Sarah doesn’t respond.  She informs the person who posted the meme, and that person blocks us on Facebook.

Somehow, the story doesn’t end there.


One thought on “The 12 Days of Christmas: Day 4

  1. I think your wife and I would get along great. 😉 She’s got spunk. I would have totally written a message like that. I hate that she’s having to deal with all of this ridiculous fall-out but I’m SO glad that she’s speaking her mind because people need to hear that they are lying to themselves and others. One of the main reasons for not coming to church with me that I heard from friends in my youth was that they didn’t see anything in Christian’s they’d met to make them think that Jesus had done anything good for them, or that they actually seemed like unfriendly judgmental people. I didn’t understand at the time.


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