I don’t have time for a full update, but I (basically) got fired. 3 months severance. Wife and I are taking a vacation to visit her parents.
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Well…condolences and congratulations I guess. I am sorry that you are among the unemployed…but I am glad that you are free of the burden of being untrue to yourself. Enjoy your vacation. Good luck in your job hunt. We will be here awaiting word of your trials, tribulations and your many triumphs!
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Hoping your time with her parents is able to provide some (even slight portion of) refreshment and reset. May you find a moment to catch your breath and enjoy a little of life in this time. I’m sure most of it is filled with anxiety, tension, and rage. But in between the peaks of the shitstorm, may you find opportunity to take long walks, watch birds, play in the grass, play happy games with the kids, photograph chipmunks, and discover a smile or two along the way. Love you, my friend, and wishing you all the best as you navigate this terrain….
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You WILL get through this horrible upheaval. The stress of having to be untrue to yourself has been lifted, and I think you will be shocked at how much better you feel. Now we all just have to find you another job. 🙂
I hope you can enjoy your family and your wife’s parents, and recharge your batteries.
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Have been there several times, and can honestly say that every job loss eventually led to something much better. The initial shock will feel like hell for a bit, but that’s just part of the journey–the good stuff is on the other side. I hope your vacation brings some healing and rest.
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I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this uncertainty, but hope that it will give you time to rest and recover, and find something you truly love.
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Sorry to hear that that happened without having something else lined up yet. Good thing you have 3 months to make something happen though. I have been in much worse situations but have been able to find something new – and even better than I’ve had before. I know the transition is tough but you are free now. I know there is still a journey ahead but now you can forge ahead without being stuck in the limbo – trying to live 2 lives.
In a stroke of irony, my parents (who have been pastors) for over 30 years just put in their resignation last night. They were accepted well and should get a severance as well. It was a pretty fucked up situation. A really long story that I won’t bore you with. It’s a church (cult) I grew up in and left about 2 years ago. The main pastors who had led the church for 30 years were fired for being assholes (abusive, controlling … long laundry list). My parents (who were associate pastors under said assholes) took over because they loved the people and wanted to care for them in this difficult transition (many were very hurt). But the foundations were (are) shit and corrupt. No one can succeed in that situation. So glad my parents are free from that. I mention that because my dad is 60 and is having to pursue a new career – new livelihood – after being a career pastor. It’s a tough transition and I see it first hand with my parents.
All that to say, I’m glad my parents are free. I’m glad you’re free. I know what lies next is fantastic for my parents and you guys. I hope you have a fantastic vacation and time with family!
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Sorry to hear that… I guess. Given the struggle you’ve expressed on your blog (which is obviously not everything you’re feeling) and given what I know I’ve gone through as a de-convert who wasn’t in the ministry, it has to be something of a relief.
Relax with your family. Rest. Recuperate. Regroup. Hope to hear from you when you’re able. You know you have a bunch of people supporting you and rooting for you.
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Adding my sentiments to the great big pile of well wishes. It’s got to be a massive blow, but you have had time to prepare, and have taken great strides in that. Take the the time you need to recouperate after the shock, but I have no doubt you’ll be bouncing back in no time.
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I agree with most of these comments. It really sucks to go through this, but hopefully the end result will land you in a much better place. Wishing you only the best of outcomes!!
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So sorry this had to happen this way. Try to enjoy your family and your vacation. I know good things are in store for you. Sending love.
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Can’t wait to see what’s next for you. Now go be yourself and enjoy your family!
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All then best, sir. Hope the wife is recovering well and you enjoy some quality family time.
Do we get to know you real name now? 😉
Shane
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Sorry to hear that. Hopefully you’re able to get away from this whole thing for a while, if just to take everyone’s minds off of it. You can all use a vacation.
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I’m so glad you’re getting away, and I hope you can really unwind with your family and leave the rest for another day. And I’m glad, as others have said, that you’ve been freed now from a job that wasn’t true to yourself. I know it’s not an easy thing to go through, but you’ll find something!
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I haven’t been reading your posts and way behind in all of this but caught up now. Hoping your time away gives you a chance to breathe.
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Hope your vacation with family gives you some emotional respite and best wishes for your ongoing journey.
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time for some family, some renewal, and then on to your next great adventure! terrifying i bet, but so many possibilities too! go forth and experience! i’m happy for you , i hope that’s not weird.
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i hope you remember you are very skilled to have been a successful pastor for any length of time. you carry those skills with you forever and where ever. people skills! use ’em!
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Free at last! It may not be easy but at least you can now be true to yourself. All the best!
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~ We are all where we belong… ~
…I learned that from a friend : )
Peace, love, rest, from all of us
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So sorry this is happening to you. Thinking of you as always.
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I was gone a week to help my daughter find a place to live in Seattle for her upcoming PhD studies, so I have been a bit out of the loop.
Three months is not great, but it’s not too shabby either. I doubt you’ll find your new career inside of this period, but you may find a good transitional job to put food on the table.
You are still quite young, relatively speaking, so remember that there is no shame in a job below your station. We do what we have to when it comes to taking care of our families.
I remember getting an executive position with a start up company back in the early 90’s and waiting tables on the weekends to round up our income and give my family the health insurance we needed at the time. Eventually the startup got their own benefit package and I was able to leave the waiting job, but it was very surreal for a while. Big shot during the week, lowly waiter on weekends.
But I have to say, it did wonders for my social life 🙂
Have you thought of hiring a career counselor?
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There was a forum I used to be active on, and we’d use the word “congrolences”, often for folks who had finalized a divorce. Obviously, a divorce isn’t anyone’s ideal end of a marriage, hence the condolences, but at least once it was done, the person could start to put that behind them and get on with the rest of their life.
I hope this turns out to be a “congrolence” situation for you. It can’t have been easy to be booted out sooner than you (and your family finances) were ready, but I think you’ll feel better having this stress point behind you, and 3 months severance is not that bad, all things considered.
Good luck, and know that there are a lot of us here rooting for you!
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I’m sorry that this didn’t happen on your terms. I hope that it comes as something of a relief to have the matter settled, at least. I hope you and your family are doing all right, and I’m continuing to root for you.
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