Sorry for keeping some of you in the lurch. After some initial postponements, my wife had her surgery. Everything went well and she is resting. I nearly had a heart attack myself when the surgery center gave me the cost sharing estimate, $3,879!!!!
Great, if I get a new job at a lower salary… ugh. That’ll be fun. But at least my wife will begin to be able to reuse her hand. More than likely she’ll need surgery on her other hand in a year or two. She currently doesn’t qualify for carpal tunnel surgery on that hand, but by the time she qualifies we’ll have different insurance (and a different job).
I got to be honest with you, I had a small panic attack yesterday. Surgery always makes me nervous ever since our first child. Joshua’s birth was quite an ordeal, and I was honestly frightened that I’d lose both my baby and my wife. That moment was the start of my mental health struggles.
So yesterday I was sitting in the waiting room, already a bit nervous, when an older couple came through the door. Apparently they were the grandparents of a man in his 20s going in for surgery. Grandma was a bit too cheery for a surgery waiting room.
Grandma: Can I pray for you (grandson)?
Grandson: Ugghh, sure?
Grandma: [in a ridiculously cheery voice] Dear Lord, we entrust [grandson] to your care. Be with him and help his body heal through this surgery. Give him strength and confidence. Lord, we just want to thank you. In Jesus name, Amen.
There, now you’re in good hands!
Now he’s in good hands?! Now?!
What, so if you didn’t pray God would have overlooked him? Did God have other plans until you reminded him of your grandson’s surgery?
And you know what? Where was God for the THOUSANDS of years before antibiotics, surgery, and anesthesia?!
NOW YOUR GRANDSON IS IN GOOD HANDS?! How good were His hands prior to modern medicine? Did God wait till the 20th century to attend medical school?
And where is God for all those who die in surgery? Where is God for all those who die in simple routine surgery? Are these “good hands” tied up for still births?
If history is any proof, your grandson will be in good hands once he’s in the care of experienced and educated RNs and Doctors (RNs don’t get enough love!). My wife lived during the birth of our first child, not because God was watching out for her, but because we live in America with some of the best nurses and doctors that the world has ever seen. And why are these doctors so good? Because of the scientific revolution. 100 years ago my wife and child would have died. Where was God’s “good hands” then?
I know that the grandma was doing what she thought was helpful. While her prayer filled me with anger, I don’t blame her. I’m not mad at her, she seems like a sweet lady. But her faith reminded of the lack of spiritual help we actually receive. I’ve “relied” on God for years, thinking someone was there to look out for me and save me. But there is no one there, and that reality still hurts.
I left the waiting room and went to the hospital cafeteria. The panic set in. What if my wife doesn’t wake up? How am I going to take care of my kids? What will I do without her? Ugh! Why don’t they serve alcohol at the hospital?
Nurse: Mr. Jameson?
Nurse: Your wife is all done. Would you like to see her now?
Me: Yeah, I’m in the cafeteria. I’ll be there shortly.
Walking back to the surgery center, trying not to run.
Me: Hey baby, how you doing?
Wife: Really good. I was having a small panic attack, but they got good anti-freak-out drugs! So I’m going (sic) fiiiiiiiine!
Me: (to the nurse) Can I get some of that stuff?