ISIS, the Isrealites, and Love

Wife: How was your meeting with Mark and the guy from sales?

Me: Eh, not as much money as I was hoping for.

Wife: Really?

Me: Yeah, this top tier salesman was only making $42k

Wife: Wow, for a top salesman?  I’m sorry honey.

Me: Me too.  The funny thing is the conversation devolved into a topic about Hell and the morality of God.

Wife: Uh oh.  Did Mark argue with this guy.

Me: Lance? Yeah.  It was brutal.  Well, all in good fun but Mark tore him to shreds logically.

Wife: Hmmm

Later that night while lying in bed.AA036864

Me: You know honey, I kinda still wished I believed but the more time I don’t, the more the bible makes less sense.  We were talking about God being the foundation of morality, and that just doesn’t make sense.  When you see God commanding Joshua and the Israelites to kill all the people in the land, even the children.  Sometimes even taking the widows of the enemies as their own wives…?  That shit is what ISIS and Boko Haram are doing! I mean how could we condemn the Muslim extremists for killing the men and children and taking women as sex slaves, when we see God commanding the Israelites to do the same thing?

I just… I have a hard time believing that God exists.  If he does exist I have a hard time thinking that he’s good.  And if he does exist and is good, then the Bible is wrong about him.

I have a slight panic here as I remember I don’t actually want her to be an atheist.

Me: Listen I know you think someone has been watching over you since you were a kid.  And you know what? It makes that you think that.  I hope that person is still watching over you.

Wife: I know someone is still watching over you.

I can’t tell you how much her comment moved me.  I could be totally off but that belief appears to be the start of a departure away from biblical Christianity.  She’s allowing her love for me to shape her beliefs instead of having her beliefs shape her love for me.  It may seem small, but the fact she thinks a god still cares about me, isn’t angry at me, and is still protecting me… it’s a demonstration of how powerful her love is.


7 thoughts on “ISIS, the Isrealites, and Love

  1. hmmm…. Your wife’s statement may instead be a re-validation of her belief and may suggest that she approaches her relationship w/ you as still sanctioned by the ‘God’ (she does not seem to fear that you are going to Hell). I’ve only just been introduced to the blog, but deduce you don’t have kids. The discussion of how you’d jointly raise them would be interesting (personally I think that kids should not be introduced to the selection of religions until they have reached their majority since the peril of an incorrect selection – going to Hell – is theirs to endure).

    I wonder if studies have been done in instances such as yours – does a spouse slowly become estranged from the other in reaction to the surety of their view? I’ve seen this in close relationships, though not marriages, before. The way it seems to go in my experience is the religious person gradually retreats into their belief. Many people, when faced with evidence that closely held beliefs may be in error, grasp at them more tenaciously, perhaps to the point that they obscure the person or references that were once held in common.

    Feel free to moderate this comment out if it serves.


    • Welcome to my blog. Yes, we have young kids. Check out my “About Me” page for more…about me. Also the page “Coming Out of the Atheist Closet” will shed more light on my current situation. Both pages can be found in the menu.


  2. From what I found on “Coming Out of the Atheist Closet”, it looks like you don’t need to grapple with a discussion of religion and your kids just yet. Do you have any thoughts on how to handle it? I saw the post from a mom who was wondering what to say to her 5-year old, so I figure you are already thinking along these lines. Inertia being what it is, I suppose the easiest thing is to continue to take the kids to church. To me, this also seems to be the least admirable option in as much as it indoctrinates them into something that you know is not genuine, and interferes with their freewill to chose what religion/no religion without imposing powerful parental bias of preference to Christianity, rather than Sikhism or other belief systems.


    • Funny thing is I don’t think my 5 year old had much of an idea of God. I’m not totally averse to a religious up bringing for my children. If statistics are any indication, they’re more likely to abandon religion when they get older anyway. Besides growing up with the myth can help shape compassion.


  3. I wasn’t raised in a church and I turned out just fine 🙂 Either way your kids will be good human beings I’m sure. I don’t raise mine around church since no close family are avid members but they take in all the area strays, donate to toy drives with their Christmas money, and my nine year old is growing out his hair for cancer patients. It’s just on how you raise them.


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