New Friend


Wife: Yay, I made a new friend! I made a new friend!

Me: …and there was much rejoicing!

Obvious Monty Python reference is obvious

Wife: No seriously, you know that family that just moved two doors down from us?

Me: Just to be clear, it’s not the Brave Sir Robin?

Wife: Well [completely ignoring my hilarious humor] they have 2 little girls right around our kids’ ages.  In fact one of their girls is in Joshua’s class and they ride the bus together.

Me: Cool.  It’s never too early to teach Joshua how to pick up the ladies.

Wife: Soooo [still refusing to acknowledge my awesome wit] we had a play date today.

Me: Yeah, how’d that go?

Wife: Awesome!

Me: Yay!

Wife: Yay!

Me: Are we rejoicing yet?

Wife: You’re not funny.

Me: What?! I’m the funniest man you know!

Wife: Looks aren’t everything.

Me: Ooo, that’s low.

Wife: Hehehe, now who’s funny? What now!

Seriously though, this is big news.  Being a pastor’s wife can be very lonely.  Everyone knows you, and they’re nice to you, but no one really wants to be friends with you if you’re the pastor’s wife.  It’s complicated to explain but imagine being known to everyone but no one is really interested in knowing you.  That’s what pastor’s wives get stuck in very often.  Then the wives always have to think that their actions will reflect on their husband’s ability to keep his job.  It’s a big cluster fuck.  I’ve nevery known a single pastor’s wife that liked being a pastor’s wife.  And if they loved it, I’d think there’d be something wrong with them.  Which makes the next conversation that happened a few days later so important.

Wife: So I was hanging out with Trish today.

Me: Who’s that?

Wife: My new neighbor friend.

Me: Oh, right.

Wife: She’s awesome, we have so much in common.  She mentioned that her and her husband were looking for a church and I told her, “Welp, you can’t come to mine.”  She asked why not, and I told her that it’s easier to be friends with someone if they don’t come to my church.

Me: That’s great!

So it won’t be awkward when I quit and come out as an atheist.

I really hope this friendship works out for the best for my wife.


6 thoughts on “New Friend

  1. I love reading your story. Makes me smile a lot. The only life I’ve ever lived till now was one where were were TIGHT with the clergy.

    But I’m better friends with the Pastor of my (very) last church now that I don’t go to church with him. I think he likes me more because I ask him the hard questions like ‘is it lonely being a pastor’, or ‘do you take it personally when people come and go’ or even ‘does a pastor say “Oh my God” while having sex?”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cody, most honest pastors prefer the company of non Christians. And if he really appreciates your honesty, he might have some doubts about his faith. Not saying he’s an atheist, but when a pastor likes atheists better than Christians…he might not be as far off as you think.


      • He still won’t drink a beer with me. I am able squeeze an f-bomb from every once in a while.

        Anyway, he tells me that he is not interested in even considering that he won’t go to heaven because his mom sadly died when he was ten, and he is putting everything on the chance he gets to see her again.


      • He’s a baptist. He signed some covenant with some convention that funded his church plant that he wouldn’t drink for five years. It’s now expired but it had the effect of demonizing to where he believes it’s a sinful practice. He says he’ll drink a bit of wine with his wife, but in public—even hidden in an atheists garage—he holds his witness.


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