A Song for Today

This is for my kids…and all you parents out there.

Lyrics:

Daughter, I once thought that I had angels in my room.
They were sleeping on my fan while I was dreaming of you.
And daughter, I once had such desire to believe
That our lives had been planned out by an unseen deity,
But you don’t have to waste your time holding on to beautiful lies.

Daughter, I once knew that everything that I believed
Was good, and fair, and true, and consistent with my needs.
But daughter, I am wrong almost as often as I’m right.
So daughter, just be strong enough to make up your own mind, Because you don’t have to waste your time, holding on to beautiful lies.

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8 thoughts on “A Song for Today

  1. Hi,
    I didn’t want to be an atheist either. I fought against it for many years. But eventually, I just had to come to terms with the fact that I was (and am) an atheist. It gets easier. Thankfully, my wife didn’t have a problem with my deconversion.

    Might I offer one possible idea? The Unitarian Universalist church accepts all people, atheists and religious. If there is one such church near you, it might be worth looking into. It would provide you and the family with community, without pushing you to believe in god. And your wife and children could still find acceptance of their beliefs as well (well…not the anti-gay or other discriminatory beliefs…but hopefully you get what I mean). You could show your wife that you could still go to a church together as a family, just a different church, if that would work. And maybe there is a job opening there that you could do, or something?

    I don’t have all the answers, but this is what worked for me. I wish you the best in your ongoing journey through life’s many twists and turns.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are a very brave person. Accepting who you are and what you think is true is not an easy task and you are doing so regardless of adversity. It seems to me like there is a brighter future ahead and that the people that truly appreciate you will understand.
    Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk about your fears now that you have accepted that you are an atheist or anything else for that matter.

    Although I’m 20, I have had doubts since I was a kid and I have accepted I am an atheist in my early teens. Ever since, I have worked towards strengthening my atheism and life could not be better. Your fears will get better over time. I can guarantee that you will even appreciate life more.

    Let me or other atheists know if we can help you. We know what is like.

    J. Sebastian GM

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You do have faith. You get up every morning hoping things in your life will get better. That takes faith. I am a person who was also disillusioned with the church. I completely get it. It’s filled with all kinds of nonsense and baffling lack of genuine reality. We see hurt all around us and church folks want to sprinkle a “PTL “or “I will pray for you” with no real caring and compassion. I get it. You know what I did? I left the church. The institution of it. Done with it. But I did choose a different path than you did. I chose to seek the REAL Jesus for myself. Not the Republican Jesus, the Church Jesus, the beat everyone over the head with the tithe message Jesus, but Jesus himself. Seek and yep I found Him. Actually I never lost Him. This incredible God of Love and Grace, who loves us so much, and loves you madly. Yes still. I love you too, dear man. He understands everything and promised never to leave you or forsake you. He meant it. When I wanted to die, curled up in a fetal position thinking my life is over, He was there. I lost all my Christian friends who scorned me when I began to question. I was utterly alone. I wanted to die. And I’m still here 20 years later. Yes, that was 20 years ago. You believed in an institution that failed you. That fails daily. It’s okay. Banks fail people. Corporations too. Most of all, people fail people. It is what it is. I put it in perspective now and decided to throw out the bath water, but pursue the Baby (Jesus) 🙂 . Never regretted leaving the church. And never regretted seeking a For Real, Relevant Jesus. Daily. Not telling what to do and how to feel. I respect you much too much for that. Just know I’m giving you a big hug and sending much love to you. You are kind, sensitive and thoughtful. To me, that reminds me of my Father and my Big Brother. Hmmm… Lol. Hang in there.

    Like

    • I appreciate the time you took to respond. I don’t feel the institution failed me. The institution is filled with sinners, I never expected them to succeed. I expected God himself to be there. He’s the one that failed. But now I know why…

      Liked by 1 person

      • So funny – I felt the same way. God wasn’t there in church at all for me either. But I’m confused. How can a God you don’t think exists fail you? I want to understand. You believe there is sin, but don’t think the church has failed you? It failed me for sure. Don’t get me started. Married pastors hitting on me. People telling me that my field of choice (public relations) wasn’t godly. Jealousy, gossip. Backbiting. Who needed all that when I could get treated like crap in the world? The church is supposed to be a safe haven. It wasn’t. I see why Jesus wrecked the temple and was soooo peeved by what He saw going on in the den of thieves that some people call church. Glad to be out of it and free of the legalism. Hang in there. I think your questioning and doubting is a sign that you are seeking something real and you want to leave the BS behind. I get it. Keep blogging. Keep seeking. Please know there are those who care about you out here!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I use church-speak still so that people who do believe can understand my frustrations. Did God actually fail me? No, neither did the Easter bunny. But there was a time where I was “Mad at God for not existing” as CS Lewis put it.

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